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ZenHow I fall from this cliff
Enjoying the descent of the insane
Willing to keep going on everyday
I rise with one thought and never seem to end the day
Always mind racing to figure out where I went wrong
Journey's old these days
Fearing things have gone stale
I just keep thinking how will this year end
How do we find our soul
I escape in my books I read
Finding solace in fake loves and lives
Journeying to the other worlds I find my oceans
Escaping into my music I see my mind calming
Relaxed now I find myself
Find meFairytale that is what I found myself believing
How much of a fool could I be
Learning all feigns are the same
Taking me in showing love unguarded
Or so I thought
Nothing but a lies and deceit is what he fed me
How trivial we think things are when time is quiet
Things are at peace so we think
Till we find that under the mask is a beast
Never will I find what escapes my grip
Always picking up my heart forever tortured
Can life be so complicated in a short breath
Do you even care what I go through
OH yeah you answered that you don't
So now what have I become that woman struggling to hold on
Fighting for what...love .. is there such a thing
Books have lost their capture
Music a theater to my bleeding heart
Smile for me though pity would end it all
My tear tracks are never ending right now
Maybe there is hope ....but right now there is darkness circling my soul
Storm brewingSurrender to me all your knowledge
Lead me away from anger
Find me in my world of lost souls
Can I never be free of this monster
Reality is only in my world
How do you put up and never leave
Words are not piercing yet from his lips
Though he doesn't know how much I know
How the room burns with knowledge
Kisses are no longer sweet
Words of endearment are losing their happiness
Destroying all we created
Collapsed there on the floor
Only words left in my mind of deceit...loss...anger
SpiritWhy do we feel broken at times
Weak with fever for what we don't guard
Can you be so torn apart that you can't reassemble
Falling backwards can you escape into oblivion
Is this torture or sweet release
Finding a need to be saved
Used and abused these demons surround whats left
Shattered blindness left behind now
Fading away reaching for a hand to grip tightly
Now broken pieces lay shattered on the floor
What to do now...
How do you piece back together a chaotic person
Deep within needs escaping
To fall away from life is to escape into raptures yet to find
Who will save a lost spirit....
EyesThrough the doorway I run
Cool and crisp the air whips me around
To find you standing there captured by a stare
Remember me on better days
How the reflection blares back
Lost and unsettled escape seems logical
Torn between duty and reason
There never seems to be a right answer
The path less traveled I find all too well
Challenges I seem to crave
Lessons I am sick of learning
Why must I always find the hard way
My heart slipping into the stare
All my bad memories leave with those beckoning eyes
Eyes of the devil ....or angel which will you turn tonight...
ReleaseTake a breath your here
Escape have you from your wounds
Careful that darkness will sneak up on you
Running is always a good way out
Facing demons will make you fall to pieces
There is always more and more structure to the pain
Even out your mind and recenter yourself
My self worth may grow but its fragile
Keep your voice light I may scream
Alone I remember my worth
Standing tall I will not surrender to its eclipse
I am alive
I am strong
I am not the enemy
I am who I will always be
I cannot fail
BreatheAnd then there was you
How far have you come to be here this night
Awake in your arms I find my collapsed world
Picking up this soul and rebuilding
Safe...was a faraway world
I am letting pieces of this wall come down
Crumbling to the floor I try to keep from boarding it back up
Healing from a lifetime of hurt
You are inside me showing me caring
I am trying not to wait for the other shoe to fall
Holding onto my sanity I try to stay positive
My breath caught in my chest as you caress my hair
Day to dayWE don't talk
you don't look me in the eye anymore
Words linger on my tongue "are we done?"
You differ from any talk of us apart
What does that mean?
Why can't you tell me how you really feel?
Why is this so difficult?
Close your eyes and tell me
Write it down
I need an answer and you are keeping me waiting for too long....
CarefulYou don't read my words
They are too sad for you
"why are you never happy?" you ask
It isn't important for you to read
Write something happy...
Make me happy I will
Make love to me nightly I will write of seduction
Bring me flowers
I will write of loves abiding promises
Kiss me like there is only me
How I will write of the wonders of a loving man
Treat me like garbage
You get depressive writing you call it
You create what I write what do you expect
My emotions are not fake they are the real me as much as I let out
Maybe you should pay attention....
Dear: One Love, Two Love, Old Love, New LoveI remember a time I smiled at your laugh.
Like cinnamon, awful by yourself, but complete with something else.
Like a rainbow, a shame to miss.
I remember a time I let you hold my hand.
Like jumping, an easy action, but you're scared of falling.
Like a question you don't care the answer to.
I remember a time I looked into your eyes.
Like the ocean, a far view, but knowing one has once crossed it.
Like a cave, dark and deep, but worth satisfying the curiosity.
I remember a time things did not go right.
Like a train, stubbornly loud, but moving forward.
Like a tissue, grasping tears and being thrown away.
I remember that feeling I recognized as love.
A leaf, impatient for season, but waiting until the time is right.
The sun, bright with joy but usually to herself beh
Love, Kiss, RepeatHow to earn trust
In the atmosphere above
Where only geese fly
And color decided to arise
How to gain hope
On these countless, pointless days
Refusing to tell my secret
In your curious ear
How to teach faith
In those who love with no reason
And smile at your glares
Who think irrelevantly to your features
How to approve happiness
On a broken scale beneath my feet
To pass away the heard secrets
Like I used to
How to remember love
In its simplest and crystallized form
Enhanced every day, appreciated almost as much
To remember its warmth, our warmth
Too LateToo Late
Feelings just pour out of me
until i can no longer see
anything but the words on the page
words of love written down as if in rage
feelings locked inside too long
keep overflowing as if in song
The gates are flooded
there is no more room
can't ignore how i'm feeling
my pen is like zoom
shouldn't i be cautious
too late for that
if only i can write them down
then will i find my path
i am so tired from emotions overcome
i've tried so hard but it can't be undone
I'll Kiss You TomorrowI'll kiss you tomorrow
When the sky has reached its point of purple
And eyes lay closed upon feathered pillows.
I'll kiss you after my steps are unheard
And my window lets more air in.
When the ground is dead, but the sky alive,
When the trailing eye disappears: I'll kiss you.
Energy alive for only those in need of help
The heartache and lonely;
Will be the only witness' when I'll kiss you.
We won't be cared for or even noticed,
In this land of regret and unestablished purpose
Of true, but cracked brilliance, and ever truer trauma.
In the cobweb of time; I'll kiss you.
Our future won't carry the knowledge,
Our past haunts us from our content 'mistake'.
But for now, lets not care, lets be loved.
Under the blanket of truly beautiful, I'll kiss you
I'll kiss you tomorrow.
HopeLet those unwanted memories pass,
And be positive and start anew
Forget the awful past,
And look forward to where you're heading to
Let us head towards the road of hope,
With a thousand doves passing by
In a vast field of withered grass,
Grows a sprout with utmost pride
As you mourn from a grave mistake,
Let me tell you about the box of Pandora
When you feel you are not worth a task,
Remember that everyone has his flaw
Never let the tiniest of discourages
Become a hindrance in your way
Instead of worrying and worrying,
Be happy, be gay
CagedYou caught me inside of your greedy hands.
And locked me away in an iron rod cage.
You wrapped me in chains, stronger then I.
There's no hope to fly away and hide.
These tattered wings wont help me now.
I sit in the corner, the silence louder then sound.
But when you speak each word cuts me like razors.
Each piece of abuse is only making me weaker.
And whisper to my self, reinsurance and false hope.
But I can't seem to find the courage or strength to escape
No matter the grief and agony that fills me
I secretly know, that I deserve to be here.
Room of Echoing ScreamsI scream,
No one hears,
no one hears.
leaves us in
burn our skin.
Fills the air,
Fills the air.
off the wall.
off the walls.
The world blurred,
then it went to black.
Blood splattered the
around the room.
as the world
No one hears.
The room of
Take me awaySingle tear rolls down
Don't pity me in my despair
Wishing to have someone to relate
Feeling always alone no matter where I am
He has his dark secrets and I will let him have them
Why do I?
Not a clue in my crazed brain
My self esteem somewhere buried in a tomb
Never can I find it
Insecurities always following me
Is it my childhood or my past relationships
I just want someone to care about all the stupid shit I say
I just can't seem to keep old ghosts out of my heart
Thinking its my fault
Does time heal wounds seems not in my world
Tracks of these tears seem to be relentless
My body tired but feelings of love towards others strong
I will have to suffix for now on the love of them
He will have to wait
If my heart gets damaged so let it be ...its already damaged goods...
Leaving Southampton She was in the kitchen when he stumbled in noisily, tripping as he went past the shelves and catching the edge of the table to keep himself from falling.
Pretending not to hear the stream of curses that followed, she kept her eyes fixed on the dishes, letting her hand trail in the soapy water. There was a loud scraping of wood against grimy concrete as he drew a chair and collapsed into it. At this she looked up, and after a moment's hesitation, she said, unnecessarily, "You've been drinking."
He clutched his head and said nothing. He hadn't shaved in weeks and stank of sweat and alcohol; he looked much older than his eighteen years.
They sat in silence for a while. Then he announced, loudly, "Fuck."
She didn't bother to tell him off. She just waited. And jumped when he suddenly brought his fist down, hard, onto the table.
"Our lives here are s
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