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Find meFairytale that is what I found myself believing
How much of a fool could I be
Learning all feigns are the same
Taking me in showing love unguarded
Or so I thought
Nothing but a lies and deceit is what he fed me
How trivial we think things are when time is quiet
Things are at peace so we think
Till we find that under the mask is a beast
Never will I find what escapes my grip
Always picking up my heart forever tortured
Can life be so complicated in a short breath
Do you even care what I go through
OH yeah you answered that you don't
So now what have I become that woman struggling to hold on
Fighting for what...love .. is there such a thing
Books have lost their capture
Music a theater to my bleeding heart
Smile for me though pity would end it all
My tear tracks are never ending right now
Maybe there is hope ....but right now there is darkness circling my soul
Take me awaySingle tear rolls down
Don't pity me in my despair
Wishing to have someone to relate
Feeling always alone no matter where I am
He has his dark secrets and I will let him have them
Why do I?
Not a clue in my crazed brain
My self esteem somewhere buried in a tomb
Never can I find it
Insecurities always following me
Is it my childhood or my past relationships
I just want someone to care about all the stupid shit I say
I just can't seem to keep old ghosts out of my heart
Thinking its my fault
Does time heal wounds seems not in my world
Tracks of these tears seem to be relentless
My body tired but feelings of love towards others strong
I will have to suffix for now on the love of them
He will have to wait
If my heart gets damaged so let it be ...its already damaged goods...
Lone walkTurning away from the day
My back full of a setting sun
Into the stillness that is the night
I find a peace in the dark
Always there, always true to form
Hiding demons and villain's we are raised to believe
Yet oddly I find sanctuary in the walk at night
I never understood why I find walking alone relaxing
Maybe its not having the pressure to talk
The birds of few at night I hear them singing their night songs
This is my time to wake
Maybe that is why I am becoming nocturnal
My universe full of stresses but in this moment I am free of them
To smell the chill in the air
To hear a dog bark as I pass
To see the air from my breath
Just to hold a moments walk of peace
CarefulYou don't read my words
They are too sad for you
"why are you never happy?" you ask
It isn't important for you to read
Write something happy...
Make me happy I will
Make love to me nightly I will write of seduction
Bring me flowers
I will write of loves abiding promises
Kiss me like there is only me
How I will write of the wonders of a loving man
Treat me like garbage
You get depressive writing you call it
You create what I write what do you expect
My emotions are not fake they are the real me as much as I let out
Maybe you should pay attention....
Walk awayYou're creating a void between us
Learning how insensitive you are
Drives me far away from you
Sick of the daily whining when others are begging for work
You work to feed your family
This is not about you anymore
Yet you find ways to twist your words and create more stress
You want this your way
You will find yourself alone
I know there is nothing wrong with me
You have burdens I know I can't relate
Yet you tear apart everyone who loves you
Do you think this is the only way to feel special
Alone is all you will find
Escaping is all I want at times
You are blinded to all my sacrifices
Days are getting longer
Time is getting tired
Body is breaking down
Tears flowing daily torments of being with you
Lost in transitFalling apart at the seams
Close to shattering completely at any moment
Loving you is a journey of pain and chasing ghosts
Sucking the life out of me at times
I don't know what to do anymore
A cross roads seems to be coming
Worried I leaped when I should have ran
Easier to flee, but this challenge is becoming impossible
Maybe this is punishment for some lost evil done
Now I am becoming distant
First it was you're smothering and talking too much
Now why are you distant and not talking....
I feel trapped in this asylum
Am I the only sane one, or am I lost in time....
Storm brewingSurrender to me all your knowledge
Lead me away from anger
Find me in my world of lost souls
Can I never be free of this monster
Reality is only in my world
How do you put up and never leave
Words are not piercing yet from his lips
Though he doesn't know how much I know
How the room burns with knowledge
Kisses are no longer sweet
Words of endearment are losing their happiness
Destroying all we created
Collapsed there on the floor
Only words left in my mind of deceit...loss...anger
LiesWhat you fell in love with you never read anymore
How you used to critique and be full of passion
Now you are pulling from me
You never seem to read me anymore
Maybe I am becoming boring for you
I seem to have been just part of your fantasy world
A fun hour with a safe distance between us
You never have a fear of losing my affection
Merrily you widdle me along in your lust desired world
Do you know you are breaking me apart
Tearing me down little by little
I think you know all too well my love....
SpiritWhy do we feel broken at times
Weak with fever for what we don't guard
Can you be so torn apart that you can't reassemble
Falling backwards can you escape into oblivion
Is this torture or sweet release
Finding a need to be saved
Used and abused these demons surround whats left
Shattered blindness left behind now
Fading away reaching for a hand to grip tightly
Now broken pieces lay shattered on the floor
What to do now...
How do you piece back together a chaotic person
Deep within needs escaping
To fall away from life is to escape into raptures yet to find
Who will save a lost spirit....
Too LateToo Late
Feelings just pour out of me
until i can no longer see
anything but the words on the page
words of love written down as if in rage
feelings locked inside too long
keep overflowing as if in song
The gates are flooded
there is no more room
can't ignore how i'm feeling
my pen is like zoom
shouldn't i be cautious
too late for that
if only i can write them down
then will i find my path
i am so tired from emotions overcome
i've tried so hard but it can't be undone
waxingif everyone were how
i wanted to be, there
would be snow instead of
sunshine; every morning, child
ren[d] would don the faces
of old women and shudder
out of doorways and
back - wrinkled and
worn and sterile and
stutter down the
streets, legs fashionably
fine and lips fashionably
blue: it's the latest trend
to give yourself away -
to throw yourself
away and i knew a girl, see,
she still lives in the
space between her
fingers, sunlight streams
through when she looks at
her reflection in the mirror -
illuminating her like an
angel from collarbones to
toenails and she, she cowers
skin, shivering clinging onto her
bones for dear life,
life, she seems to have given
up on life, she would rather
fly: carried on headache-highs
and the shadows over her like a
blanket as she slips down snow-
drifts, i wonder;
if she were a painter
she would be an impressionist,
all those colorful flecks of
frost, a warning you will
fall and pure and
airy as you may be, yo
Bliss.My skin becomes the battlefield
of tangling emotions within.
How much more can I take?
My skin gives way
to the razor blade
The blood seeps out
and the commotion stops
for one blissful second;
How much more can I take?
Painting my life
on the only canvas I will ever know.
My secret words
displayed on my skin
silently beg for someone to see the pain.
But for now
my razor blade is my only friend.
Only fourteeni should have forseen, i should have seen each alarm,
myy child has grown into anything but carm,
depression, fate and realties new lesson,
she faced it head on, a forced session,
psywards and councilors tried to help,
then came momments of isolation, together i was by myself,
i watched blood fall,
i felt the energy of each assistance call,
years had to past for her to prove,
that in life each step prepared her to move,
plastic surgery, the job im preform,
starting as first as an oulet to be reborn,
change occured as if fate,
sad eyes of my child filled me with hate,
i should have forseen, i should have seen each alarm,
as a plastic surgeon and her father, would i be helping if i removed her self harm,
SnowWhat have I done?
Where will I go?
I'm lost and buried
In this burning snow
What did I do?
Where have I been?
It seems my cries
Are lost in the wind
How did this happen?
Why I am so lost?
My heart stays encased
In this bed of frost
What will I do?
Where can I hide?
This agonizing pain
Ripping up my inside
Where lies the promise?
The one I can't keep?
The one that I made
When desperate for sleep
And where now lies the heartache
That cut like a blade?
Is it an apparition?
Can I be saved?
What now shall I do?
And how shall I go?
Will I be lost forever
Beneath the crimson snow?
Black angel wings
Upon my back
Rise me up higher
To leave what I lack
And raise me up higher
To leave my regrets
I can't afford
To pay for my debts
Give me one day
To soar in the sky
To be myself
And not have to try
I'm tired of this
Of fitting in
All I want
Is to go against the wind
I want to fight
Against the flow
And dig my way out
Of the deep, glassy snow
So black angel wings
Please raise me high
Though I know f
TabooWhen I first met you...
you revealed your dark ideals.
Yet, others don't understand...
the way I truly understand you.
Your ideals are considered taboo.
You interest yourself in dark things...
like a cult performing dark magic...
under a black and sinister moon.
Your mind is dark and dirty...
to those who do not understand.
Yet you submerge yourself deeper...
into that deep dark taboo.
You search for one to understand you.
Yet, nobody chooses to listen to your taboo.
You're being forced down a long and dark tunnel...
one deeply full of darkness and hatred.
Yet, I am one of the few who understand you.
I understand your deep and dark taboo...
like a deep understanding between brothers.
And so, here we are with your misunderstanding of me.
Even with our conflicting ideas, I shall stand up for you...
to guide others to the understanding of your taboo.
Until others understand your deep ideals...
I shall stand up for you forever more.
Awake or Asleep?Awake or Asleep
My imagination runs wild
Making up stories
In my mind
Is it true?
Did they die?
Is it true?
Am I alive?
What's going on?
What is life?
And will the scars every fully heal?
WHo are you?
Is this from staying up all night?
Or from believing the lies?
What's going on?
Oh what is real?
Why won't these scars hurry up and heal?!
Darkness surounds me.
Staring me in the face
Are my past mistakes
I can't escape
Am I awake?
Or am I asleep?
Bleeding wallsWhite room
With me standing alone at different ages
Am I still sane?
Who am I?
Who are you?
Why do you whisper those 3 words?
"Nothing is real!"
A hand in the dark drags me out
It'll stop soon if I'm only dreaming
PLEASE this is all scaring me..
Back and forth
Awake and asleep
Remembered and forgotten
Promises you could never keep
Pass through the gate
Then you'll know truth
Drink the water
And meet you fate
ZenHow I fall from this cliff
Enjoying the descent of the insane
Willing to keep going on everyday
I rise with one thought and never seem to end the day
Always mind racing to figure out where I went wrong
Journey's old these days
Fearing things have gone stale
I just keep thinking how will this year end
How do we find our soul
I escape in my books I read
Finding solace in fake loves and lives
Journeying to the other worlds I find my oceans
Escaping into my music I see my mind calming
Relaxed now I find myself
Our DutyWe swallowed the path home
Because we were hungry,
Though starving is an ongoing
Story, an empty bag
Dancing in the streets,
Full of an unfastened voice
Walking through the house,
Wind unchained, heart admonished.
Heaven fills its eyes, crawls away,
That sleeping boat content to follow
The vacant waves, intervals
Of dying that we dare not interrupt,
And we watch the kind ear shrinking
From our charcoal docks; heaven
With a full stomach crawls away.
This is what we were put here for.
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More